I came across this post, above, on FB today in my feed and I thought how appropriate. Of course I had to respond to such a valid question. This was my answer: I feel sharing a bad day elicits wonderful words of encouragement & support from friends who have shared the experience and know first hand what I need the most. Just someone who cares and acknowledges & validates your feelings when some of those closest to you either can't or won't understand and look at you like "here we go again".
Just this morning, after a pleasant evening with my other half, he still seemed in a more loving mood than usual. I got up in pain with a headache, took some meds and sat in the recliner first thing, before he came out of his room, and waited for the meds to kick in and take the worst of it away. He came out, made a cup of coffee, and joined me in the living room for a pleasant conversation. Since I hadn't eaten anything the meds upset my tummy so I got some milk & crackers to settle it down. He mentioned he was hungry and went to the basement to get on the computer before he went to work. He came back up and I was feeling better and asked if he would like me to fix him some breakfast. His response, "that would be nice. Sounds all right, but the tone had that "for a change" note to it. I ignored it as he told me he would like a BLT, if I was feeling up to it. I got dressed and got everything ready for his BLT. I even cut it on the diagonal like he likes so well (sometimes it takes such a small thing to make them happy). I called down to him so he finished what he was doing and came up to eat. He started getting dressed for work and when he came out he told me to do the dishes, then cut the watermelon he had bought almost a week ago, 'like he does so it doesn't make a mess'. I told him I would if I could because sometimes it's hard for me to do things like that with my arthitis. He rolled his eyes and told me I'd manage. Then he proceeded to tell me to not eat all the heart out of the melon like I always do. That stopped me in my tracks, I rarely ever cut a watermelon because it's to hard sometimes to do. What I usually end up doing is cutting it up in small pieces off the rind & putting it in a container. He cuts the melons. He slices away the center and eats it to 'see if it's any good' He said this in front of his aged mother and her even more aged companion and I was so embaressed with him treating me like I'm some kind of lazy (for maybe not being able to cut the melon), selfish (for eating all the best part of the melon, NOT), woman.
Now I know this isn't a big deal and probably nothing to post about but this is, and has been, an ongoing issue, worse since I got to the point physically that most of the time I am very limited in what I can do and the length of time it takes me to get it done. I'm sure most who read this will think..."and she thinks she's got it rough". Well the point is this...I do have a limited ability and I should not be shamed or blamed for it. It doesn't matter how small of a detail it is, they add up and soon a lot of tiny little remarks add up to an huge volume of those little nasty remarks & embarrassments to fill you heart, mind, & soul with hurt & humiliation to totally destroy your spirit.
This is precisely why I posted that answer and why I am posting it in this blog. I desperately need the encouragement & love I get from people, most of whom I have never met face to face, because those who are suppose to love and care about me, only do it at their convenience. No...don't get me wrong, I don't mean my immediate family, I mean my fiance & his family. The people I live with day in and day out. So beloved FB, Fibro & other Invisible Disability friends, please know when I whine it's because I need to know someone really understands and really cares how I'm coping and offers me that love & compassion because they know what it's like. So thank you for your love & support whenever I come to you whining because I'm hurting & sad & feeling a bit sorry for myself. This, too, shall pass.
This is precisely why I posted that answer and why I am posting it in this blog. I desperately need the encouragement & love I get from people, most of whom I have never met face to face, because those who are suppose to love and care about me, only do it at their convenience. No...don't get me wrong, I don't mean my immediate family, I mean my fiance & his family. The people I live with day in and day out. So beloved FB, Fibro & other Invisible Disability friends, please know when I whine it's because I need to know someone really understands and really cares how I'm coping and offers me that love & compassion because they know what it's like. So thank you for your love & support whenever I come to you whining because I'm hurting & sad & feeling a bit sorry for myself. This, too, shall pass.
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