My Love Experience!

Today was one of those days when you discover the unknown factors of love.
     I remember my feelings about love as a 20 something woman. It was supposed to be all about romance, adventure, passion, all the things that are supposed to ignite the love and keep that flame burning. Boy was I in for a let down. There was some passion, but that was just the newness of the experience. There was some adventure, that was pretty few and far between and some of the adventures were not a fun thing to say the least. There was never any romance but it was because I was young & naive and fell for the proverbial "bad boy". BIG mistakes ladies!
     Now when I was in my 40's I had been married for 24 years & divorced. I found love again with someone who respected, romanced, and practically worshiped the ground I walked on. The passion was there because of the love but was very subdued and tender. This love was not meant to be permanent because there was quite a few years between us but he loved me more as a friend & nurturer as he pulled me through the hurt and lack of self esteem I gained from my marriage and taught me how to love myself no matter what anyone else thought. He truly made me, a better me. We had a very short time together because he passed away. It broke my heart because we had so little time together and I was sure no one would ever love me like that again. I was right about that. No love is the same. We weren't together long enough to develop a truly intimate relationship but he always told me I needed to find someone younger because he wouldn't be around forever. He had asked me to marry him but I wasn't anywhere near ready and I was honestly to scared, after putting so many years into my first marriage, to want to do it again.
     A couple years later I met a man who was from K.C. through a friend of his, that I knew because we worked for the same company (in different states). When they came to Colorado on a photography expedition we met for coffee and spent a few hours together and kept in touch when they left. He was the nicest & funniest man I had ever met. To make a long story short, he and I grew from friendship to love and after 2 years of long distance romance I moved to K. C. to join him.
     Now my whole purspose in writing this is to let you know that today he was off and had some errands to run and I originally was going to stay home. He mentioned going to lunch but I still wasn't feeling great and thought I would stay home. Lo & behold, I was looking into his beautiful eyes and realized we hadn't spent much time together since Christmas because I haven't fell well for a while now (Thanks Fibro!). I decided I wanted to spend some time with him. I needed to spend some time with him. I was missing him. We see each other every day but we are each doing our own thing and it isn't the same. I was able to ride along with him. Watch the expressions on his face as I stared at his profile. As I made comments about how cute he was or just enjoyed watching him while we talked, he gets these wonderful crinkles at the corner of his eyes when he smiles. I was suddenly reminded why I love this man so much. We argue over stupid things, we both are horribly bitchy when we don't feel good, we both do things the other doesn't care for but truth be known...this man is adventurous...he loves road trips and discovering new places or things we've never seen.That in itself is so wonderful since I have gotten sick and can't do much hiking or long distance walking anymore. He's passionate about everything in his life that he enjoys and shares it with me. He is tender when he needs to be, we enjoy talking about everything under the sun. I think he likes me, because as intelligent as he is...I can usually hold my own in a conversation with him. Most of all...though it's few & far between...he is romantic. He surprises me once in a while by doing something so thoughtful just for me and it fills my heart with so much love. 
   I just want everyone to know that no love is perfect! Older love feels wonderful! That flame that you hope for in your youth becomes so warm and comfortable and relaxing and just plain makes you feel good when you get older, I have such a sense of contentment & joy that there are times I could shout from the rooftops my happiness that I have found in my relationship with my Rex!