Having an Invisible Disability...

     Is so hard to deal with some days, so hard to understand everyday, and what's worse is.....it makes me cry. I know that sounds silly & whiny, especially since my pain level is pretty much bearable today. I'm taking my happy pills so things don't get me feeling so blue but they don't seem to be working today. In a nutshell...I'M SCARED! What's more, there is nothing really to be scared of so I'm feeling pretty silly and immature about this whole experience today. It's not like I haven't had days like the this before but since I really don't have an explanation for them it can really consume me with questions and concerns
    Let me tell you about this pathetic day and my reaction and hopefully others of you have gone through this and can tell me what is happening. Here is a base line of my medical conditions in the order they were diagnosed...Psoriasis, Diabetes, Depression, Sleep Apnea, Neuropathy, Psoriatic Arthritus & Fibromyalgia. This is just the list of health issues that have the most immediate & bothersome effect on me.
     I woke up today at 7:30 am, took some Excedrin for a headache, loaded the dishwasher, checked on my unemployment & filed for last week, checked out some jobs on a couple of the online employment sites I use, checked my FB account and finally noticed the pain flaring up. Some days it takes a while for the pain to become noticeable enough I have to take meds to control it. I took a Percocet, ate some leftover Broccoli Chicken Bake & a slice of fresh pineapple for breakfast. I move kind of slow most days & it was almost 11:00 am and I thought I would watch The View while I ate my breakfast & waited for the medicine to do it's job and ease my pain. I put my dishes in the kitchen sink and was feeling a little tired and since I need a nap, sometimes several times a day, I sat back in the recliner, put my feet up, started planning on what to fix for supper when I felt more with it. That's all she wrote folks...I was soon sound asleep waking up once to ask my mother in law if she was cooking and heard her say she was fixing her supper. (That's another story all together.) Out I went again. I finally woke up about 3:30 pm and shook away the cobwebs and got up and couldn't remember if I had talked to my mother in law or not so I asked her and she said I had. I apologized for sleeping all day and she said I had made lots of strange high pitched noised and other weird sounds all afternoon. I felt such sadness, fear, embarrassment, shame, and disgust at myself because I should not be this tired all the time. 
     I know this is just another poor, poor, pitiful me story but I am really being emotionally devastated by the way my physical life is going. I just need to vent how I'm feeling and how sad I am and reading back over this how pathetic I am. I have so many friends I have met through Face Book that struggle sometimes too but they seem to have more control over feeling sorry for themselves than I do, at least today.
     Sorry I'm not more positive today and I'm even sorrier I haven't been around much for anyone else but I do realize we all have have periods of time when we feel so discouraged we find it hard to be encouraging to others who are going through the same thing. Just know I care about all of you and I hope you can understand that right now I am finding it very hard to be strong and my coping mechanism is out of whack.